Mommy’s Inside Voice: Ice cream can soothe even the worst days

Mommy’s Inside Voice is a biweekly column by Amie Jay, a local mother of three

Amie Jay/Columnist

You know those days that just seem doomed from the get-go? You wake up still exhausted with a crick in your neck and a bad dream resounding in your psyche. You step out of bed directly onto a Lego, the toast burns, you forget to turn the coffee pot on and your children seem to all have taken on the personas of UFC fighters since yesterday.

Yup. Today was one of those days.

My crummy morning progressed into a nightmare of a day. Dead car battery, with three kids in a rain storm. Kid home early from preschool with an earache and an “accident” that needed a bath. This is where it gets really nutty. Trying to calm the screaming three-year-old with poop down his leg, simultaneously keeping him from moving an inch or touching anything, the bathtub faucet broke off in my hand. The faucet I have been meaning to have fixed for months. A jet of unstoppable hot water started filling the bathroom with steam and I completely lost my mind.

My meter hit red and I just couldn’t deal anymore. I couldn’t deal with all of them being in my face. I couldn’t deal with the tsunami in my bathroom and I couldn’t deal with the fact that I HAD to deal with it. All of it. Day after day. I yelled. And not just a normal yell. This was a banshee, pterodactyl, Mommy-is-transforming-into-an-ambulance-siren type of wail. And my three little birdies that had been chirping demands and complaints just seconds earlier responded with a stunned silence. Which was a notable first for them.

READ MORE: Mommy’s Inside Voice

The shame flooded in immediately. I quickly shooed the boys out and locked myself into the bathroom, letting the water levels of the bathtub rise while my heart sank. The screams that had turned to sobs were then being calmed by deep breaths. In through my nose, out through my mouth, just like I always coached my little ones. Then I emerged from my “timeout” calm, but kinda heartbroken.

Sometimes I’m “Mama” and then sometimes, I’m just Amie. An ordinary person with flaws and a limit. I have bad days, days that I can’t keep it together no matter how hard I try. Days where I can’t handle life with grace, days that I’m rude or cranky or whiny. Just like my little ones, I suppose. I found my babies sitting together with a giant tub of Lego (that apparently needed to be completely dumped out). Happily playing together as if Momzilla hadn’t just destroyed the bathroom. The poopy one had even attempted a cleanup and dressed himself in pants that I had always kinda hated anyways.

I sat down. Started piecing together a weird little truck while I opened up to them about my awful day. I shared with them that I’m always their Mom, but sometimes I’m just a person that has big feelings like they do. I apologized and told them that the way that I had handled my bad day was not OK, that they didn’t deserve to be yelled at. The expression of my “big feelings” wasn’t fair.

Their reaction inspired me. Little hands rubbing my back. Quick to forgive, big hugs and listening ears full of understanding and empathy. Just true, pure love. My little mirrors that teach me every day. Humbling me both in my shame and self reflection and in their acceptance. They also gave me a little more empathy for them, reminding me that everyone has bad days and everyone deserves to be given the same grace that they gave me. Big or little. Our heart to heart with tears was followed up by big, necessary bowls of before-supper “bad day made better” ice cream. That chocolate swirl inspired a few little happy dances, surprised giggles and a desperately needed bright moment in a crappy day. Moral of the story? You’re never too big to say sorry and ice cream is ALWAYS a good idea.

Mommy’s Inside Voice is a biweekly column by Amie Jay, a local mother of three.

Just Posted

Defense says burden of proof not met in double murder case against Oak Bay father

Closing statements begin in trial for man accused of killing daughters Christmas 2017

Sealand was much more than killer whales, says ex-employee

Former Sealasd trainer revisits Sealand of the Pacific in talk

UPDATED: Hundreds gather to reflect and remember UVic students killed in bus crash

Campus community invited to reflect, support one another

Oak Bay United preparing entirely new development application

Three scenarios being considered for Granite Street redesign

Province overrules View Royal; plans to build handyDART facility

View Royal Mayor calls province’s actions “heavy handed” and “unusual”

WATCH: United Way #Drive4Five event launches campaign to raise $5 million

More than 80,000 lives changed last year by the United Way

Crime Stoppers most wanted for Greater Victoria for the week of September 17

Greater Victoria Crime Stoppers is seeking the public’s help in locating the… Continue reading

Man who crushed Nanaimo RCMP cars with stolen truck gets more jail time

Majore Jackson, 34, sentenced to two more years in jail in provincial court in Nanaimo

B.C. dog breeder banned again after 46 dogs seized

The SPCA seized the animals from Terry Baker, 66, in February 2018

Surrey mom allegedly paid $400,000 for son in U.S. college bribery scam

Xiaoning Sui, 48, was arrested in Spain on Monday night

Three dogs found shot dead in Prince George ditch

The three adult dogs appeared to be well cared for before being found with gunshot wounds, BC SPCA says

B.C. party bus company to be monitored after 40 intoxicated teens found onboard

Police received tip teens and young adults were drinking on party buses and limousines in Surrey

Rick Mercer calls out Conservative candidate in B.C. for fake meme

‘Not true. All fake. Please Stop,’ tweeted Rick Mercer in response

Bear killed in Kimberley after chasing girl, wreaking havoc on town

This particular brown-coloured bear has been the subject of many calls this summer; very food habituated, CO says

Most Read