Mommy’s Inside Voice: Ice cream can soothe even the worst days

Mommy’s Inside Voice is a biweekly column by Amie Jay, a local mother of three

Amie Jay/Columnist

You know those days that just seem doomed from the get-go? You wake up still exhausted with a crick in your neck and a bad dream resounding in your psyche. You step out of bed directly onto a Lego, the toast burns, you forget to turn the coffee pot on and your children seem to all have taken on the personas of UFC fighters since yesterday.

Yup. Today was one of those days.

My crummy morning progressed into a nightmare of a day. Dead car battery, with three kids in a rain storm. Kid home early from preschool with an earache and an “accident” that needed a bath. This is where it gets really nutty. Trying to calm the screaming three-year-old with poop down his leg, simultaneously keeping him from moving an inch or touching anything, the bathtub faucet broke off in my hand. The faucet I have been meaning to have fixed for months. A jet of unstoppable hot water started filling the bathroom with steam and I completely lost my mind.

My meter hit red and I just couldn’t deal anymore. I couldn’t deal with all of them being in my face. I couldn’t deal with the tsunami in my bathroom and I couldn’t deal with the fact that I HAD to deal with it. All of it. Day after day. I yelled. And not just a normal yell. This was a banshee, pterodactyl, Mommy-is-transforming-into-an-ambulance-siren type of wail. And my three little birdies that had been chirping demands and complaints just seconds earlier responded with a stunned silence. Which was a notable first for them.

READ MORE: Mommy’s Inside Voice

The shame flooded in immediately. I quickly shooed the boys out and locked myself into the bathroom, letting the water levels of the bathtub rise while my heart sank. The screams that had turned to sobs were then being calmed by deep breaths. In through my nose, out through my mouth, just like I always coached my little ones. Then I emerged from my “timeout” calm, but kinda heartbroken.

Sometimes I’m “Mama” and then sometimes, I’m just Amie. An ordinary person with flaws and a limit. I have bad days, days that I can’t keep it together no matter how hard I try. Days where I can’t handle life with grace, days that I’m rude or cranky or whiny. Just like my little ones, I suppose. I found my babies sitting together with a giant tub of Lego (that apparently needed to be completely dumped out). Happily playing together as if Momzilla hadn’t just destroyed the bathroom. The poopy one had even attempted a cleanup and dressed himself in pants that I had always kinda hated anyways.

I sat down. Started piecing together a weird little truck while I opened up to them about my awful day. I shared with them that I’m always their Mom, but sometimes I’m just a person that has big feelings like they do. I apologized and told them that the way that I had handled my bad day was not OK, that they didn’t deserve to be yelled at. The expression of my “big feelings” wasn’t fair.

Their reaction inspired me. Little hands rubbing my back. Quick to forgive, big hugs and listening ears full of understanding and empathy. Just true, pure love. My little mirrors that teach me every day. Humbling me both in my shame and self reflection and in their acceptance. They also gave me a little more empathy for them, reminding me that everyone has bad days and everyone deserves to be given the same grace that they gave me. Big or little. Our heart to heart with tears was followed up by big, necessary bowls of before-supper “bad day made better” ice cream. That chocolate swirl inspired a few little happy dances, surprised giggles and a desperately needed bright moment in a crappy day. Moral of the story? You’re never too big to say sorry and ice cream is ALWAYS a good idea.

Mommy’s Inside Voice is a biweekly column by Amie Jay, a local mother of three.

Just Posted

Sooke woman is ‘black and blue’ after being pushed off 40-foot cliff at Thetis Lake

West Shore RCMP looking for witnesses as investigation continues

Throwback Thursday: Shamrocks revisit the 1950s with new uniforms

Victoria team introduces its new white jersey for the 2019 70th anniversary season

Comic Con announces winning artist in $500 ViGuy competition

Van Isle Comic Con announce judges’ award winner, People’s Choice voting now open

Commuter Challenge proves biking to work was the faster option on Wednesday

Greater Victoria teams raced from across the region to a downtown finish line

Victorian makes gridlock fun with traffic bingo

How far into your drive before you yell BINGO?

VIDEO: Journey of SD62 Aboriginal graduates recognized at ceremony

‘Enriching and empowering’ ceremony encourages students to hold onto their identities

POLL: Were you satisfied with the Game of Thrones series finale?

Millions gathered in front of their televisions Sunday night to watch the… Continue reading

Greater Victoria wanted list for the week of May 21

Greater Victoria Crime Stoppers is seeking the public’s help in locating the… Continue reading

Brewpub offers ‘boat valet’ for paddlers during Surfrider celebration tonight

Free ‘Surf Formal’ evening features a local art auction, door prizes, live music

Thunderstorms to bring heavy rain, risk of flash floods in the southern Interior

Ten to 30 millimetres of rain to fall over the early weekend

Building a close-knit community in Sooke

Knit 2 Purl Together a community event

Unbe-leaf-able: Agassiz man finds more than 200 four-leaf clovers in a month

Walt Hardinge has found more than 219 four-or-more leaf clovers this spring alone

Crews fight fire with fire to keep blaze from northern Alberta town

The wildfire now covers some 920 square kilometres

Man in B.C. charged with murder and arson in 2016 New Brunswick death

He is charged in the death of 71-year-old Lucille Maltais, who was found inside a burned down home

Most Read